


the forbidden touch

by arcsinx



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Engagement, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 17:32:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7517086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcsinx/pseuds/arcsinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren is, without a doubt, the most powerful being on the galaxy. Hux, the Commandant's useless, power-starved bastard has always sought to seduce the powerful Knight to leave his father's household. He is surprised when Kylo Ren becomes engaged. To Hux's older brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the forbidden touch

**Author's Note:**

> this is weird. I wanted this to be one thing and then it ended up being another. but well, hope you enjoy.

\- 

Life at his father's house sucks. There isn't one aspect of it that Hux finds tolerable. His father treats him like a science project, an ant under a magnifying glass, whose victories are brushed away and whose failures are promptly disapproved of. His father's wife doesn't really acknowledge him, staring vaguely into space whenever Hux is nearby and seeming to be deaf to his name. Dieter, Hux's stepbrother, treats him with cold indifference. With soft cheeks and charming smile he was his father's project gone right. 

But none of it mattered because Hux had a plan. One that he concocted himself since very young and that would one day be his escape and his ticket to a new life. A life where he'd be treated rightfully as the spouse of the most powerful tool of this galaxy. 

His name was Kylo Ren and there wasn't a soul that had learnt how not to shiver upon hearing it. Hux had first heard of him when he was eight years old. He was the Empire's golden boy, a former Prince and Jedi that had torn the temple apart to bring glory to the Empire's name. He was in every advertisement and every flying panel, a billowing cape and a face hidden under a dark, dark helmet. They said his lightsaber was blood red, according to the only man who had seen it and lived to tell the story. 

Hux had grown up collecting any information he could gather about Kylo Ren, though people were often hesitant to talk about him. He eavesdropped on conversations, perked up at his name and read the private Empire journal for high-commandants-only that his father sometimes forgot atop the living room table. Kylo Ren was twenty-nine to Hux's virginal nineteen. He spoke seven languages, including Wookiee, was extremely strong in the Force and responded to Supreme Leader Snoke only. 

Kylo Ren was feared by everyone. Even Hux's father. That's why Hux loved him. 

\- 

"You mustn't speak up, look up or do anything reckless, boy," Commandant Hux was saying, his face inches away from Hux's own, eyes intent and spittle flying to land on Hux's cheek. Hux cringed inwardly, but made no movement to break his parade rest. Apparently satisfied, his father straightened, looked down at him and continued. "And you must _not_ stare. Am I clear?" 

"Yes, sir," Hux answered robotically. Mrs Hux and Dieter were talking quietly at the other side of the room, acting as though nothing was happening. 

Brendol Hux paced, probably still addressing Hux as he murmured in a fervour. "Lord Ren doesn't like being stared at, no," he shook his head, "he finds it bothersome, uncivilized." 

"Did he tell you that, dear?" Mrs Hux asked excitedly. As any other Empire woman she believed Kylo Ren was the top bachelor she needed to groom her daughters and sons to seduce. 

Brendol puffed. "I've heard... things, yes. He choked a Lieutenant for less." 

Mrs Hux gasped. 

Hux's heart hammered against his chest. In less than a few minutes he would be face-to-helmet with Kylo Ren, would stand in the same room as him, breathe the same air. Kylo Ren was coming to pay Commandant Brendol Hux a visit. Apparently he had some 'matters of importance' revolving around his father's stormtrooper program and had accepted the Commandant's cordial invitation to dinner. A dinner Hux wouldn't be able to attend. Nonetheless, he had been assigned to stand among the servants. Small steps. 

A droid came to inform that Lord Ren's shuttle was approaching and Hux could feel his lunch climbing up his throat. He barely registered when his father took hold of his shoulder to shove him next to servant's line, standing in apprehension as the Commandant's family took the center of the hall pristinely, Mrs Hux best jewels reflecting the lights and almost blinding Hux. 

There was a silence only broken by the rain outside, and suddenly, heavy footsteps coming from the other side of the front door. Hux breathed in deeply, and when the door burst open what he saw did not disappoint. 

Kylo Ren was dry despite of the punishing rain. He took certain steps inside and seemed to take the room in with a slight rotation of his head. 

"Lord Ren, what an honour," Hux's father greeted, and as Hux swallowed and fought to do as his father had told him and not look up, he saw the heavy boots and the billowing cape approaching the space where the family stood. 

"Commandant," the voice, a deep static spilled by a vocoder, made Hux shiver. He could hear a needle dropping, could feel the sweat rolling down his back, could feel his heart pumping. He lifted his gaze, bit by bit, and there he saw the tall man, the broad shoulders and the shining helmet. He didn't listen to what his father was saying, could only remember that Kylo Ren was able to read minds, and daringly, thought _Look at me, look at me_. 

Mrs Hux let out a tiny laugh at something and soon his father was directing Lord Ren into the dining room, Dieter and Mrs Hux following with admiring looks. _Look at me damnit_ , Hux thought despairingly, but Kylo Ren was already moving away without a glance backwards. 

The servants let out a sigh of relief, but Hux's mind was in a complete disarray. Had he lost he only chance? 

\- 

Kylo Ren's lightsaber was blood red. And it was unstable, shifting with a weird, buzzing noise that Hux was certain would feature in all of his nightmares from now on. It sizzled and hissed under the rain drops, hot, _scalding_ where it almost touched Hux's bared throat. 

"Who are you?" He said, and close up the way he spoke sounded way more sinister. 

Hux wasn't able to speak. All he could do was shake all over, soaked to the bone under the heavy rain, hair plastered to his forehead. What did he think would happen by sneaking out to see Ren board his shuttle? That he would have his hand shaken, bat his eyelashes and have Ren kneeling and proposing? 

Hux opened his mouth, a survival instinct rushing him to say anything in his defence. But before he could his head had been pushed flat, almost turned inside out with a pressure that seemed to come from everywhere, his ears ringing alarmingly. Every childhood memory played behind his eyelids in a dizzying speed, his father's ire towards him, crying under the covers, being made to wash the toilet because Dieter had blamed him for something he hadn't done, petting Millicent, Mrs Hux's fat ginger cat that she had lost interest in because its colour reminded her of Hux's hair, the ridiculous ginger _bastard, Armitage..._

Hux fell on his knees, throwing up on Kylo Ren's boots. His head hurt, felt as though it had been split apart. The lightsaber's buzzing died, only the rain could be heard. And Kylo's footsteps when he gave Hux his back and boarded his shuttle. 

\- 

They were so jubilant that no one bothered to ask where he had been or why he was drenched and had mud all over himself. It felt like it couldn't get worse. Hux just wanted to be scolded, even slapped across the face if it came to it. Would've preferred it a thousand times over hearing that Kylo Ren had proposed and that he was engaged to Dieter. His foolish, better-than-Hux, legitimate son of a brother. 

He wasn't even sad. He was just angry. He stared at Dieter's wide beam of a smile and he wanted to thrash his face. Hux never wanted to kill someone so bad, not even his father. He screamed into his pillow all night long. 

\- 

When Kylo Ren came to visit again, or else, to _court_ Hux's brother properly, Hux was severely disappointed to know that his presence would be required for dinner. Apparently knowing that Brendol Hux had a bastard wouldn't besmirch Kylo's view of their family now that he was already engaged to Dieter. 

Hux couldn't even say no, couldn't fake being sick. 

He put on his best clothes though, because his father would have his hide if any of Hux's reluctance were visible. He had been told white looked good on him, and he felt bitter by dressing in it now that he had nothing to gain from it, no one to impress other than his father. Which was always the case, Hux supposed. 

Hux didn't look up, didn't speak up and didn't stare. He sat and ate in silence, listening to Dieter's pathetic attempts to engross his monosyllabic betrothed in conversation. His father had an ear-to-ear smile, toasting several times over his son's and Lord Ren's upcoming union. The good part was that Hux could sneer without it being noticed. 

He was struggling to cut his chicken – he always got the worst piece -, when Lord Ren asked something that could only be directed at him. 

"I don't think we have been introduced before." 

There was a frozen silence upon the table. Mrs Hux exchanged wide looks with her husband, that remained where he was, in shock. 

Hux finally looked up. There was nothing to fear about Kylo Ren. Where once he expected to feel frightened or even ashamed to look at him again, Hux just felt a powerful, red wave that he knew now to mean anger. Kylo wasn't even eating. He didn't even take off his helmet to eat, just sat there watching everyone else eat. Was he even human? 

Hux sliced his chicken perfectly, the meat parting under the new vigour he put on his knife. "I think you already know who I am." 

"Armitage!" Brendol shouted. Hux froze. "How dare you, you petulant-" 

Kylo Ren lifted his hand, and Brendol's reprimand promptly ceased. 

No one knew what to do. Not even Kylo Ren it seemed, who lowered his hand and made no movement or comment for the rest of the night. Nor did anyone else. 

\- 

Kylo was about to leave, standing at the hall and exchanging words with Hux's father that Hux wasn't able to hear. Mrs Hux and Dieter were sending him mean looks from across the room, and Hux lowered his gaze conformingly. 

He saw Kylo Ren's boots when he moved towards the door, remembered it from when he threw up on them, and felt a shameful twist in his stomach. The door burst open, and suddenly, a loud, deep voice that resounded inside his head: _look at me_. 

Hux lifted his gaze to Kylo, and there the Knight was, head tilted back towards him. 

\- 

Hux was locked inside his room for two weeks. A droid provided him with food every four hours and he was allowed to make three trips to the bathroom. All he had for company were the chipping old pamphlets and panels depicting Kylo Ren in various powerful stances. Hux tore them off the walls and instantly regretted it when he felt lonely without them. 

Millicent often tapped on his window, and he would let her in and pet her head, sleep with her curled up on his chest and tell her all his secrets including how he felt extremely confused about Kylo Ren. He hated and loved him and he didn't think it was possible. He didn't want him to marry Dieter, didn't want to see him again but felt his life would lose all purpose if that was so. 

On the second week, he saw Kylo Ren's shuttle approaching from his window. It landed on his backyard where his father greeted him, Dieter by his side. Kylo nodded at his father, curtsied for Dieter. 

Hux put his palms flat on the window. He could see them but didn't know what they were saying. His father looked proud, then confused, and then irritated. Hux didn't know what was going on. 

Kylo said something else and Hux's father nodded. He turned to board his shuttle once again, and Hux felt a rising panic. "Kylo!" He shouted, startling Millicent that had been curled up on his bed. He banged his hands on the glass, but Kylo wasn't listening. "Kylo! Look at me!" 

The shuttle rose into the sky, and then it was gone. 

\- 

Hux was allowed outside the next morning. No one said a word to him. He was showered and dressed and thought better not to question it, though he didn't know if the purpose was to make him uncomfortable as he wasn't used to having someone else washing him. 

He ate at the table with the family that night, a meal where only the cutlery broke the silence. His father seemed to have everyone under his command: no looking up, no speaking up and no staring. Mrs Hux sniffed every once in a while and Dieter had swollen eyes. Hux wanted to scream at them, wanted to know what was going on, but his father's resolve to keep him in the shadows seemed to keep everyone on their tracks. 

They were finishing the dinner when an unmistakable sound made Hux's ears perk up. Something had landed on the backyard. A shuttle. Kylo Ren's shuttle. 

"Father-" Hux began, but didn't know what else to say. No one looked surprised. Instead their expressions only soured further. Hux could heard the front door bursting open, and when Kylo Ren stepped into the dining room Hux looked up straight on. He stood there for a moment and then did something Hux had not been expecting. He pulled his helmet off, and his strikingly human, handsome face turned towards Hux. 

Hux knew Kylo Ren spoke seven languages, knew his lightsaber was blood red, knew he was former Prince and knew everything else everyone else knew. But now he knew he had black hair, that it fell on his shoulders and that he had a long nose and a face full of moles, deceptively young. 

"Have you told him?" Kylo turned to Hux's father, who ashamedly shook his head. Kylo's eyes hardened but he made no move to choke him. Instead he turned his eyes back to Hux. "We're engaged." 

Hux's mouth hung open. "What?" 

"There has been a mistake," Kylo explained. 

Hux looked from his father back to Mrs Hux. Dieter made a sound similar to a growl but pursed his lips and said nothing. "I don't understand," Hux said. 

"I had a vision," Kylo replied, as though that was all. "In it I married a son of Commandant Hux's," Kylo tightened his hand into a fist, loathing to admit that his powers had failed him, or that at least he hadn't interpreted them correctly. "I didn't know he had a bastard," he added. 

Hux blinked. "That's it?" 

Kylo's eyes widened. Apparently he hadn't been expecting Hux to question him. "What do you mean?" 

"You had a vision that did not feature me in any identifying level and decided that bursting in and announcing that we are to be married makes it... fine?" Hux was red in the face. He could feel it. Heart pumping inside his ribcage, cold sweat sprouting on his back. He was engaged to Kylo Ren. At last. 

Kylo analysed him. "You don't understand. I grew more powerful when I married you. In the vision." 

Hux crossed his arms. "Oh, isn't that charming?" 

Brendol seemed to be fighting back the will to shout at Hux. Such amount of impertinence displayed in front of him certainly had his hackles rising. 

Kylo's gaze on him was almost burning. He let his eyes roam Hux's face and then smirked. Hux wanted to be mad at him, but this was everything he had ever wanted. And Kylo knew that. Because Kylo had read his mind. 

Hux took in a deep breath. He wouldn't...? Kylo watched him amusedly, lifting an eyebrow. 

"And..." Hux was shaking, "And is my father fine with it?" 

Kylo's grin widened. "He gave us his blessing yesterday. He's of the mind that a vision shouldn't be ignored. And that the Supreme Leader's wishes should prevail." 

Hux looked down at the tabletop, trying to reorganize his thoughts that were running at lightspeed. "We are to leave in a few minutes," Kylo supplied. Hux looked up at him and nodded slowly. 

"I- Can I get my cat?" He asked shakily. 

Mrs Hux made an agonizing sound. "Millicent is mine," she said, and promptly clapped a hand to her mouth, looking fearfully back at Kylo. 

Hux stood paralyzed. Kylo looked from him to Mrs Hux once. "The cat is his," he said. "I'll be waiting for you outside." 

\- 

Hux swallowed, enveloping Millicent and looking uncertainly back at his father, Dieter and Mrs Hux, all standing sombrely at the front door, looking as though they couldn't wait to never see him again. Kylo stood lazily against his shuttle, hair moving with the breeze that preceded the rain. Hux took uncertain steps towards him. What was his game? Hux was positive that he hadn't... He took another look back, at his father's displeased, shut off face and the house where he had lived so many disasters in. He hastened his footsteps, could feel his toes digging on the mud but didn't care. There stood Kylo, his future, and there stood his father, his past. 

Hux ran, tightening his hold on Millicent that made a disapproving sound. He stood before Kylo and felt the first drop of rain hit his nose. 

"You didn't have a vision," he accused, narrowing his eyes when the rain began to pour. "You read my mind." 

Kylo smirked, lifting his hand and letting his thumb slip against Hux's lower lip. "Get on the shuttle, Hux." 

Hux watched him, uncaring of the rain. He dug his teeth on Kylo's finger and _bit_. Kylo pulled it back quickly. 

"I did," he said with a feral grin. "And I think we'll get along just well."

**Author's Note:**

> was it a little bit of a mindfuck or did it make sense?


End file.
